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Everyone feels despondent at times and you are no exception. You are feeling so depressed because it seems that everything that could go wrong has gone wrong and you don't quite know which way to turn. So like the proverbial ostrich you are trying to bury your head in the sand. But that won't work - you have to face reality.You are very talented, imaginative and sensitive but you are holding back as you do not really like going it 'on your own'. In preference you would like to team up with someone, someone with similar attributes as your own, to explore - to seek out and go perhaps 'where no other man has trod before'. It is the unusual that attracts you and which will give you a sense of excitement and adventure.
You are a rather inhibited sort of person. This could be the result of your upbringing or of your schooling, whatever. You are able to obtain satisfaction from various forms of physical or emotional activity but all in all you are inclined to be emotionally withdrawn. As a consequence of this you find it difficult to sustain any deep involvement.
You are feeling helpless. The fact that you are unable to control events that are going on around you is subjecting you to considerable stress. This can, if not relieved, cause muscle spasms or hypertension. It would seem that you are, for whatever the reason, being subjected to intolerable pressures. The complete environment would appear to be hostile. It would also seem that you are being driven against your will. You feel - and perhaps quite rightly so - that unreasonable demands are made of you but more to the point you feel as if you are powerless to control the situation or protect yourself in any way. At this time you feel utterly helpless.
The tensions induced by trying to cope with conditions which are beyond your capabilities, or your reserves of strength, have led to considerable anxiety and a sense of personal inadequacy. Your inability to take control of the situation causes you to over-react in stubborn defiance blaming everyone but yourself for your own failures.